When tablets, smartphones, and mobile games have your child’s attention, it can be difficult to take it back, and you need to work even harder to connect on a deeper level. What’s even more disheartening is that studies show that too much screen time hurts the brain’s ability to develop key social functions like recognizing and understanding emotions. So even if we manage to take away their gadgets, they may not have the interest to bond with us… just yet.

Thankfully, there are still ways to help your child connect with others.

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What happens when we put the screens down?

When parents and children connect with each other, it also ensures that the kids are nourished emotionally. Emotional nourishment is essential in developing emotional intelligence (EI), which in turn will affect your child’s capacity to forge relationships as they grow.

Another wonderful thing about having good EI is that it can improve your child’s autonomy and self-awareness. In other words, your child will not become overly dependent on you. On top of all that, it will also allow them to grow with enough confidence to make their own decisions regardless of supervision.

Learn more about emotional intelligence in this Relay blog post.

Then comes the part where we need to put these concepts into action. And the first step in this approach is to initiate more and better communication.

How to build an emotional connection

We all know that nothing beats face-to-face communication. If you and your child are able to recognize each other’s facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, you are more likely to know each other on a deeper level. These things, after all, make up over 90% of how we communicate, according to sociology expert Patricia Runcan.

Remain observant, and consider the reasons why kids talk in a lively/sad tone or why they make faces. As explained in a post by Maryville University about their psychology degree, understanding the thoughts behind actions can help in contextualizing behavior. How your child thinks is often expressed unconsciously through other means. Imagine it this way; a text message (just words) might express a meaningful message, but covers only about 7% of what you are trying to communicate. Without context or personality, a text message is just a bunch of words put together. You can fare a lot better with a phone call (words plus the sound of the voice) and relay 45% of what you really mean. So, if you want to say something to your child but can’t do it face to face, a voice call is a much better alternative to a text message.

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What about video calling?

Of course, video calling can be more intimate as you are able to communicate with facial expressions and body language. However, giving a child a smart device for video calling can have more downsides than upsides.

“I am very pleased with how [my daughter] is able to use it and understands that we are using it as a device not a toy. I was very excited to hear her say ‘Mommie, I love you’ from her bus on her way to school.” —Relay user via The Neighborhood

After all, video calls require internet-enabled devices with screens. You are already aware of the slippery slope between having these devices and screen addiction. We tend to picture device ownership as a balancing act between communication and distraction. But even adults will tell you that distraction often wins. If you can take out the distractions and maintain the communication aspect, then that would be perfect.

Communication skills for kids: phone versus walkie-talkie

Enter the PTT (push-to-talk) walkie talkie. While you may opt for a smartphone with parental controls or an old and unreliable flip phone from the 2000s, nothing beats just pushing a button to start a conversation. No menus to navigate, no distracting apps, just a simple and reliable device for easy, spontaneous connections.

After all, the best way to simulate face-to-face conversations is to minimize the steps you need to take to talk. It makes communication much more natural. To illustrate, have you ever felt that placing a call is much more ‘serious’ or important than a text? We have become too used to casual texting that verbal communication feels so out of the ordinary.

“My son talks to me over the Relay his whole walk from school to meet me […] There is something magical about it being a walkie talkie instead of a phone that gets him talking more.” — Relay user via The Neighborhood

However, if your family has become used to communicating with a walkie-talkie, calling to say “hello,” and “I love you mom,” or “on my way home now” can develop into a habit. With more open lines of communication and faster connection, communicating with such a device will improve your family’s emotional connection. Ultimately, this is the beauty of technologies like Relay.

A smarter solution

Relay is a smarter phone for your child. It has the nationwide 4G LTE range of a phone, but it works like a walkie-talkie. Relay does not have a screen and attention-grabbing apps. It has built-in privacy features and comes with a free app for parents. Parents can track their child’s GPS location, talk on a virtual walkie-talkie, and more. Want to learn more? Check out our main website at relaygo.com.

 

The New Year is here and many of us are kicking habits, picking up new ones, and making promises to ourselves. But unless you have superhuman willpower, you might be expecting to fail before February, falling right back into your old ways. Sticking to new resolutions is hard at any time of year, especially for parents who have to put their own needs second and their kids first.

But what if your kids and your whole family could help keep you on track this year? If you plan with detail and include all members of the family, they can be the best help you’ve got in achieving the “New year, new you.”

Get smart with your resolutions

You’ve probably heard that simply wanting something isn’t enough. And while there’s some truth to that, you have to start somewhere. Without knowing what you want, you can’t make a plan to get there. You can’t take action and achieve. So if you want something this year, get serious by turning your wish into a goal — specifically a S.M.A.R.T goal. That’s specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. It’s not as hard as it looks and it helps you turn that thing you want into actionable steps.

Here’s an example:

Starting goal: Save money.

Specific: I will save by cutting unnecessary expenses and starting a weekly savings plan.

Measurable: I will save $1000 in a dedicated savings account, putting in $20 every week.

Achievable: I can save $20 per week without compromising my family’s quality of life.

Relevant: I will use the saved money to take my family on vacation.

Time-Bound: I will have $1000 saved by the end of December 2019.

The end result would look something like this:

I will save $1000 for a family vacation by the end of December 2019. To do this, I need to place approximately $20 per week in a dedicated savings account. To fund this weekly savings plan, I will quit cable, switch to a more affordable cell phone provider, and cancel a premium streaming service.

With S.M.A.R.T goals, you can turn a general idea into a detailed plan. Set your own goals, set goals with a partner, or have your whole family share a goal together.

New Year goals for families: what’s your goal and how can your family help?

Want make mealtime easier? Try these family goals:

• Learn to cook as a family, teaching the kids how to make safe and easy dishes
• Divide and conquer the grocery store with the kids, saving time and teaching them how to find all the deals — if they help, they can grab a treat for themselves!
• Teach kids how to pack their own lunch for school with a reward for healthy choices

Want a tidier house? Here are some habits to start together:

• Reward kids for chores done early or without being asked
• Parents drop a quarter in the “mess jar” when the kids catch them leaving a mess behind. They drop another quarter in if the kids help them clean it up. At the end of the year, the kids get the jar.

Need more quality family time? Try these out:

• Go for a family bike ride/spend time outdoors together every weekend.
• Tell each other something you’re grateful for every day
• Turn TV/game/screen time into a whole-family activity

How about a new year resolution for kids?

“When kids make and keep promises to themselves, they gain time management skills, practice with delayed gratification, and confidence in their own abilities”

The best part about setting goals together is that your kids can join in. Their goals can be just as well-planned as yours. You can help make sure their goals are achievable and well thought-out. Maybe they can’t become their favorite superhero, but they can earn enough chore money to get their own superhero costume! If your kid is having trouble coming up with goals, you can suggest some of these:

• Report cards they can be proud of all year long
• Learn to play an instrument or sport
• Take on new responsibilities at home or at school
• Save up enough chore money to open a savings account
• Read a new book every month

When kids make and keep promises to themselves, they gain time management skills, practice with delayed gratification, and confidence in their own abilities. All these qualities help their developing brains flourish and thrive. With your help and example-setting, they may start setting goals all on their own!

Keep each other on track

In a perfect world, you’d never falter and you’d float effortlessly down the path you’ve set for yourself. Not so in the real world. Unexpected expenses crop up. There will be unexpectedly hard tests, unexpectedly tasty chocolate cake, and unexpectedly tiring days (where you absolutely deserve a cheat day.) You will make missteps on the way to your goal. That’s where your family can make a huge difference.

Not only can family offer encouragement and support, they can remind you of what you originally set out to do. (And rest assured, most kids will be delighted at the chance to boss their parents around!) Let your child encourage you — it’s an opportunity to become an example of perseverance while simultaneously empowering your kid to be a part of that journey. You can let the people you love be part of your success, making it even sweeter.

By ourselves, it’s easy to get discouraged and abandon a goal entirely if we mess up even once. When we have people keeping us accountable, not only are we less likely to mess up, we’re less likely to give up when we mess up.

Have a bad day plan — just in case

Returning to the savings example from above, let’s say someone hit your car in a parking lot. This expense is such that you can’t afford to drop $20 in your savings account for a few weeks. You can still meet your goal if you have a bad day plan. Maybe that plan is to cut something else  nonessential out of the budget. Maybe you start putting in a little more money every week to make up for the weeks you missed. Either way, you can adapt and keep going.

The same sentiment goes for dieting, exercise, home cooking, pottery, whatever you want to do this year. Life happens and you will miss a day here and there. But success doesn’t have to be a 365-day “streak.” Success is refusing to give up after breaking your streak. Start a habit, end a habit — just keep going. Don’t let one slip-up stop you. Life happens and we’re all just trying to do the best we can.

What are some of your family’s new year’s resolutions? What obstacles are you planning for?