February 2019 | Relay Blog

little girl with pigtails making a grumpy bored face

Top 5 Tips: What to Do When Your Kids are Bored

February 28, 2019/in Digital Parenting

The kids are bored again—and they want to make sure you know it. Sure, you have a few crafty ideas and jaunty outings up your sleeve, but you also have to make dinner, finish up your work, get groceries… and let’s be real, you’re not going to be able to get all that done if you break out the slime kit and have to spend all evening trying to get it out of the carpet.

When your kids are bored, you don’t have to hop in to save the day every time with an ingenious new game, craft, or activity—but you can use these Relay super-parent strategies to respond to their cries of “I’m booored!” in a way that helps them beat boredom all by themselves.

What does “bored” mean for your kid?

Before deciding how to help your kids with their boredom, it’s worth asking yourself why they can’t find something to entertain them. Boredom means different things to different kids—here are a few causes of kids’ boredom and what to do about them.

Type 1: Too many options

Also known as analysis paralysis. If your kid has trouble making decisions, they may get bored after being unable to choose what they’d like to do. Kids are surrounded by toys and activities. They have vast imaginations full of ideas. And sometimes it’s hard to choose the best, most fun activity. Fearful of missing out on something fun by choosing “wrong,” some children prefer to defer a decision and end up doing nothing.

How to help: Use a tool to help them narrow down their options.

Type 2: Eyes on the prize

If your kid has a very specific game or activity in mind (like going to the pool) but can’t act on it (because there’s thunder and lighting out there!) sometimes they can ignore other options and stubbornly choose to be bored rather than accept another activity. And giving them alternative play suggestions only feeds the fire!

How to help: They’ll get bored of being bored soon enough. Just ride it out.

Type 3: Tricky language

Is “I’m bored” code for something else? For many kids, it’s actually code for “give me your smartphone so I can watch YouTube videos.” If your kid is angling to wear you down for screen time, you can still redirect them without assigning them an activity.

How to help: Don’t hand over your phone, tablet, or TV remote!

The 5 best games to play when the kids are bored

Games, parenting strategies, call them what you want. But these decision-making exercises help boredom while still enabling kids to think and be creative.

Play “ask the bored box”

This can be a box, jar, vase, bowl, or any vessel you don’t mind sitting out and being full of paper scraps. Your child can fill it with fun ideas and activities they come up with. Then, when they’re bored, they can reach in the box and take a look at their options. No need for parental intervention. The best part is that as your child grows, gaining new interests and hobbies, they can add ideas to the bored box. They can also toss old ideas that no longer appeal to them.

Play the “Sherlock” game

Once you eliminate the things you don’t want to do, the remaining thing, however unlikely, must be the the cure for your boredom. If your kid likes telling you all the things they don’t feel like doing, have them practice process of elimination by filling a page with ideas. They can then then cross off the ones they don’t want to do right now. The last idea left is the winner. It helps to give guidelines here, like whether they should write down inside games, outside games, games to play by themselves, or games to play with friend.

Play the “do your chores” game

This is the only “game” on this list that involves the parent suggesting or creating activities for kids. If your kid helps around the house, you can find fun ways to get them engaged in their chores with a chore chart and a positive attitude. You can even offer to work on your own chores at the same time or make a real game out of emptying the dishwasher. And who knows: maybe spending some time working will give them the inspiration they need to have some fun afterwards. Or more likely the suggestion of mowing the lawn will spontaneously cure their boredom! Check out this post to get more chore ideas and a free chore chart template.

Play outside

Sometimes a change of scenery can make all the difference in the world. There’s a lot to do and see outside. So send your kid out the door to seek adventure. Make sure you have a pack of go-to supplies your kid can grab for toys, a snack, and a safe, distraction-free way to get in contact with you, like Relay. This game still lets your kid decide how to beat boredom independently, but allows you to give them a hand narrowing down their options.

Play the creative thinking game

This is a game where you don’t help your kids when they’re bored. And it’s actually good for both of you. You’re not responsible for keeping your child entertained 100% of the time—wish them luck in solving their boredom and carry on with what you’re doing. They’ll find something to do eventually, and they’ll find their own way to narrow down their options. And figuring out how to pick an activity helps them become decisive, creative, and well-adjusted people. You can even make it easier for them to bump into activities around the house by setting up little play areas. Check out this post to learn how. Of course, if your kid settles on a game that requires your participation and comes to that decision all by themselves, feel free to join in!

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Essential Age Appropriate Chores for Raising Tidy Kids

February 21, 2019/in Digital Parenting

Keeping a tidy house involves a lot more than occasional dusting. And the more kids you have, the bigger the mess you have on your hands. The only way to pick up after your family and the clutter gremlins that must be running through the rafters without losing your mind is to have each family member pull their own weight through chores.

Now, kids don’t weigh that much, so we’re not asking you to become Cinderella’s wicked stepmother—instead, assign age appropriate chores that increase in frequency and skill level as kids mature. Not only does this train kids to become capable humans once they leave home (shout out to all the college freshmen who still have no idea how to do laundry,) it also can be a valuable opportunity to work in some teachable moments, such as money and time management skills. In this post, we’ll walk through which chores to assign to your kids, how to keep them motivated, and the best ways to work in extra lessons.

How to get kids to do their chores

Look back to your childhood and picture the following: you are playing. Your parent storms into the room, arms crossed. They say, “I thought I told you to empty the dishwasher! You can’t play until you do it.” Maybe you complied, maybe you negotiated. Either way, you probably would have a negative association with doing chores.

Now picture the scenario this way: you are playing. Your parent walks into the room smiling. They say “Wow, that looks fun! Would you mind taking a quick break to help me in the kitchen? If you empty the dishwasher while I clean out the fridge, we’ll get done really fast. We’ll even have enough time to play outside before it gets dark.” Well, you still might not be thrilled to stop playing, but there are a few key differences that make this method easier for a child to accept.

When asking a small child to do their chores, there are five guidelines to minimize protests:

Frame the chore as a fun task, not a boring one
Do your own chores at the same time, creating camaraderie and a chance to socialize
Focus on getting the chore done instead of being upset it wasn’t done on time
Offer rewards or fun opportunities after chores are done
Praise play and chores, giving each equal importance

When families work together and turn chores into family time, it’s less “Cinderella” and more “Cinderella’s mice having a blast while making a dress.” And if chores are part of family fun, then playtime should be praised just as much. Keep in mind, if you won’t let kids play until chores are done, or disapprove of playtime before chore time, it introduces a couple of powerful messages.

First, it tells kids that chores are the price they have to pay for play (which makes helping around the house less desirable.) Second, it tells kids that playtime is unproductive, or a waste of time compared to chores (when it’s actually crucial for their growing minds and bodies!) With that in mind, even if a child forgets or shirks a chore the first time around, asking for their help usually results in fewer complaints than a reminder of their tardiness.

Chores for kids by age group

Generally, as kids grow, they can handle a greater number of tasks as well as more advanced tasks. You and your child are the only ones who can truly tell when they are ready to take on new chores. So if you aren’t ready to let your child chop veggies or use household cleaners, there’s no harm in waiting for the right time. Safety first! And always make sure to supervise when your child is doing their chores, both for safety and quality. Here are some general guidelines for when to introduce household chores:

Chores for toddlers (ages 2-4)

Toddlers haven’t yet learned from experience or from the media that chores aren’t fun, so it’s the perfect time to get them helping! All of these chores should be supervised, and chances are, you’ll have to re-do them. The focus here should not be on quality, just on praising them for their help. Turn it into a game or sing a silly song while you work. Toddlers shouldn’t be responsible for too many chores at once, and keeping a rotating list of responsibilities adds variety so they won’t get bored! Here are some toddler-friendly duties:

Pick up their toys and put them back where they belong
Put their dirty laundry in a hamper
Help with laundry (loading/unloading, basic folding)
Sweeping (with a little broom!)
Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher (only non-breakable/plastic items)

Chores for little kids (ages 5-7)

At this age, chore charts become more useful. You might see some pushback on chores as they start stretching and testing the limits of their independence (and your patience.) But that’s where rewards come in handy! Generally, little kids can perform all the chores they could as toddlers (and to a higher standard!) plus the following:

Cleaning/dusting (with a duster or a damp rag)
Simple, supervised meal prep (sandwiches, scrambled eggs, etc.)
Set/clear the table
Load/empty the dishwasher
Fold and put away clean clothes

Chores for big kids (ages 8-10)

If your child has been doing chores all their life, you’ll encounter less resistance from your big kid when it comes to chores. But when introducing a brand new set of responsibilities, there are 3 crucial elements: a regular schedule, a reward system, and variety. Big kids might appreciate being paid for chores more than they did when they were younger. In addition to their previous chores, here are some tasks your big kid can help with:

Collect/take out the trash/recycling
Kitchen cleanup (pots, pans, dishes, countertops)
Make simple meals
Vacuuming
Pack their own school lunch

Chores for tweens (ages 11-13)

When your child enters their tween/teen years, strategies have to change. Their minds, personal identities, and individuality are developing quickly. You certainly won’t be able to convince them that mopping the floor is fun if they believe differently. In middle school, your tween’s social life can both help and hurt their willingness to help around the house. On one hand, they want to hang out with friends instead of staying at home. On the other, pocket money increases in perceived value as kids get older. So if your tween has big purchases in mind, they might even be willing to take on extra responsibility to make it happen. Here are some additional chores your tween can tackle:

Doing their own laundry and linens
Making dinner a couple times a week
Deep cleaning bathroom, kitchen (safely using household cleaners)
Watching younger siblings for short durations
Teach and supervise younger siblings as they learn new chores

Teaching kids responsibility

When grownups do chores, we don’t get gold stars or pocket money. You have intrinsic motivation (that’s motivation that comes from within) to clean up from time to time.

Most kids don’t have intrinsic motivation to clean up after themselves—not many people are born tidy. So we, as parents, offer extrinsic motivation (that’s motivation that comes from external factors) to encourage our kids to behave the way we want them to. That’s gold stars, cash, treats, and all the other rewards kids get for being good.

Here’s the trick: if we want to teach our kids responsibility, we have to keep their external rewards desirable enough that they continue to do their chores. And at the same time, we have to cultivate their intrinsic motivation to do their chores as they grow up.

Now, what motivates one child can be entirely different from what motivates another. Smaller kids might have intrinsic motivation to spend time with you and to make you happy. As this gets them helping around the house, you can start to point out things that make you happy and get your child thinking about how they feel in a clean space.

Isn’t it nice that you always know where to find all of your toys?
Look at all the space you have to play now!
Being in a clean room helps me relax. How about you?
How do you feel when your room is messy? Does it feel nicer to play in when it’s clean?

Your child won’t clean for the sake of cleaning overnight—it takes time. In the meantime, using age-appropriate rewards can help keep kids motivated. For younger kids, activities and symbolic rewards work pretty well. As they get old enough to count, introducing a paid system can help teach kids the value of money. Cash increases in motivational power as kids get older, so introducing it early and in conjunction with other, more age-appropriate rewards, is a good idea for parents who want to teach kids about counting, saving, and other financial basics.

Free printable chore chart templates

Ready to get started? A chore chart on the fridge is a great way to set a regular schedule so your kids know what’s expected of them. You can fill in daily, weekly, and monthly chores to keep organized. Bonus: a chore can’t slip your mind if it’s written down!

Get your free chore chart template

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Date Night Ideas: The Ultimate Survival Guide for Parents

February 14, 2019/in Digital Parenting

Imagine a relaxing evening—well, try to imagine. It’s hard when you have little kids running around. Finding time for date night is near impossible for parents with young kids. Finding a sitter, making plans, worrying about what’s happening at home even when you’re out at dinner… Sound familiar? If you want to press pause on parenting for a few hours this Valentine’s Day to enjoy a relaxing, romantic evening, you’re in luck. Here is everything you’ll need to make your dreams come true: meet your date night survival guide.

Make a plan

Yes, logistics are boring. We’re all suckers for spontaneous romantic gestures, but with kids to worry about, who has time for it? For an uninterrupted evening enjoying each other’s company, you need to know in advance:

What is your itinerary?
Where will the kids be?
What constitutes a “call me” emergency?

Whether you bring a sitter into your home or drop the kids off at their grandparents’ house, you need to know where they are and vice versa. The caregiver needs to know when you’ll be back or what time your movie is. They need to know that your kid’s bedtime protests aren’t anything to worry about and will be over soon. They need to know that screens go away an hour before bedtime. Usually a list will do the trick. And if this sitter or family member already knows the drill, even better!

Gather your supplies

Picture it in your head: what is your perfect, romantic evening? It doesn’t have to be a movie moment, just something fun or relaxing—whatever your ideal date night, you need the right supplies to pull it off with a minimum of “I miss mommy” tantrums from the kids and “I need to check on the kids” panic moments from you. While every family and every date will be different, here are some of the supplies you’ll need to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible:

Night on the town ideas

Sure, you could do dinner and a movie. It’s classic! But there are so many other options out there to pursue similar interests, learn new things, and find adventure. For any out of the house date plans, take the following with you.

You’ll need:

A sitter for the kids
Your phone (set to “do not disturb” with the exception of your sitter)
A rideshare app (just to be safe!)
A way to record some memories (polaroids, anyone?)

Things to do for date night

Go online and check out your area. Find an activity or event that you both will love. Here are some ideas:

Find a music or comedy show in your area
Take a cooking or painting class together
Tour a museum, brewery, or other place that fascinates you

If you need to be home during the evening, you can always start early, dropping off the kids with the sitter and going straight to brunch or to a walk in the park.

At home date night ideas

You’ll need:

A place for the kids to spend the night (sitter, friend, or relative)
Your favorite grown up beverage
A meal prep service or takeout
A safe, out of sight place for your phone (check out this out-of sight charging box!)

Things to do for date night

Just because you’re staying home doesn’t mean your options are limited. Here are some ideas for your special night in.

Takeout, Netflix, chill. You do enough work, take a night off.
VIP dance party. No kids, no rules. Crank the tunes and dance.
Cook a fancy dinner together… And you don’t have to do the dishes till tomorrow.

You might see each other every day, but it might have been a while since you’ve actually had time to talk about something other than the basic stuff that keeps the household running. No matter what you end up doing, the most special part of your night is just catching up—simple, but special anyway.

Make the night tantrum-proof

Let’s nip the meltdowns in the bud by making sure the kids have everything they need for a fun, quiet night. No missing stuffed animals, no forgotten bedtime books—you’ve got this. Here’s a quick catch-all of things your kids will need to have handy while you’re on your romantic date:

Favorite toys, security blankets/stuffed animals
A dinner menu they can’t say “no” to (mac n’ cheese, anyone?)
Fun activities at the ready (craft supplies, props for imaginative play)
A way to get in touch (for saying good night!)
Your secret weapon: the promise of a reward for good date night behavior

Yes, it is possible for parents to get away, have a night off, and enjoy just being in each other’s company again. And though it seems daunting, it’s actually a lot easier than it sounds. If you tend to get stressed out with your hectic schedule, plan a monthly—or even weekly—date night! With the right plan, it can be a win/win for you and the kids. Happy Valentine’s Day, parents!

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DIY cardboard crafts for phone charging station

Cardboard Box Crafts: Out-of-Sight Charging Station Tutorial

February 7, 2019/in Play Unplugged

When it’s time to put the toys away, they go in a box. Maybe dolls go in a dollhouse or toy cars go in their toy parking garage, but each toy has a place to rest when it’s not being used—even if cleanup time happens a lot less often than we’d like. But what about our phones, tablets, e-readers, and other screens? Many find their homes on end tables, couch cushions, or even in bed with us as we try (and fail) to fall asleep. If you’ve ever had to pry a phone or tablet out of your protesting child’s fingers, you know what kind of powerful hold screens have on our kids. So why are we leaving them out in the open, constantly in view as a temptation for us and our kids? Well, they have to charge next to an outlet, simple as that.

So how do we get these screens out of sight so we can have fun spending time with family? We created an “out-of-sight” charging station for our screens. It’s a free and super fun craft project you and your kids can do together, using things you already have at home.

Here’s what you’ll need:

Shoe box large enough to fit all your screens (including mom and dad’s phones!) comfortably.
Covering of your choice (wrapping paper, newspaper, butcher paper, etc.)
Tape
Glue Stick
Scissors
Exacto Knife
Craft supplies of your choice (markers, paint, glitter, decorative tape, etc.)
Optional: Grommets (metal or rubber)

1. Recruit your little ones for shoe box crafts

This is where you can get your kids excited about designing a bedroom for your devices—tablets need sleep, too! If you want your box to match your decor or want to get crafty yourself with the outside of the box, your kids can still use markers to color the inside of the box, using their imaginations to decorate the place where the devices rest.

2. Wrap the box in the paper of your choice

This step involves scissors, so parents should take the lead.

First, cut two large pieces of paper and place them on your work surface. Take a glue stick and apply glue to the bottom of your box. Then place the box in the middle of your first sheet of paper.

Now remove the shoe box lid, apply glue to the top, and place it in the middle of your second sheet of paper. It’s important to wrap the box and lid separately so you can get your devices in and out later.

Wrap the shoe box and lid as you would gifts, applying glue to each side of the box as you go. Secure with tape or more glue.

3. Decorate the box!

There are no rules here. Let your family loose on the box — stickers, markers, and crayons in hand. Your box will turn out as unique as your own family. If you’d rather keep the outside plain or exercise your own creative muscles, your kids can still decorate the inside of the box.

4. Make room for the charging cables

On the back of your box, make small cutouts in your box with an exacto knife so that all charging cables can slide in without being seen from the front. Since this part is pointy, it should be done carefully by a grown up.

Optional: place grommets or tape in your cutouts for neat edges. Pro Tip: Make sure all your cables fit through the holes/grommets before securing them in place!

5. Drop in the devices

Feed the charging cables through the holes you cut and plug in your screens as you place them in the box. You might need a power strip nearby to plug everything in. You can use twist ties, decorative tape, or ribbon to keep your cords neat. Alternatively, you could store the power strip inside the box and have just one cord to worry about. Once everything is set up, pop the lid on the box. For the full “out of sight out of mind” experience, turn your devices off when they’re in the box.

And that’s it — play a board game or hang out in the back yard without worrying about losing to a machine in the fight for your kid’s attention. And get the most out of your family time by putting your own phone in the box, too.

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